There is such strength, depth, and courage in a grateful heart.  No matter how much we have on our plate, no matter how challenging or exhausting life may be and feel, gratitude is a game changer. 

It lights up our hearts. With gratitude, we appreciate the small moments of connection, we appreciate the light in our children’s eyes, the joy in their step, and blessing of having them in our lives.

With gratitude, we appreciate our health, the roof over our heads, the food that we eat, the car that we drive and our ability to be so much to so many, including ourselves.

Gratitude is the balm that heals us inside, that gives us a new perspective, that brings us fully present in the moment and able to enjoy it no matter what the phenomenon is on the ground.

Life is not easy on this beautiful planet. There’s a lot of dissension and stress.  There’s a lot of ‘us versus’ them energies, encouraging us to see the differences in each other, instead of the similarities. 

There’s a lot of focus on what we are not, not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, rich enough, good enough.

The Truth is: What we focus on is what we get more of in our lives. 

If we focus on everything that we find irritating, frustrating and unfair, we will attract more things in our lives that feel irritating, frustrating, and unfair. 

If we focus on what we’re grateful for, the moments that make our heart sing and open us up to more love, then we will attract more of that, more moments to be grateful for, more moments of experiencing the love and support that is within us and available to us.

Take a moment and look at your life. What are you grateful for?  What could you be grateful for?  Where could you welcome more gratitude, appreciation, and love into your heart?

We can start with the foundations in life: the roof over our heads, our car and comfortable bed, the food in our fridge and pantry. We can be grateful for all the things that we have and don’t have to worry about, the things that keep us safe and bring comfort into our lives.  We can choose to take nothing for granted and see what we’ve created for ourselves with new eyes.

We can notice that how we are, the presence that we bring to our family that impacts our experience. Is it loving or not?  If not, how could I bring more gratitude and love to myself and them? What do I need to feel and act differently?  What would it look like to bring my patient, loving heart to myself and the people in my life?

A simple way to upgrade our experience is to start and maintain a Gratitude Log: Each evening we record two things that we are grateful for and appreciate in our heart of hearts.  Every morning, we read what we’ve written in the past 48 hours, allow that gratitude to sink into our hearts and to become a part of us as we go about our day.

With our Gratitude Log, we remember what we love about our life.  We remind ourselves what brings us joy, the moments that bless our lives every day. Gratitude turns our angry, frustrated, irritable self into a being filled with contentment and joy. 

We choose how we see and experience the world. We choose how we respond to the events in our lives. We can acknowledge our feelings and flood ourselves with our gratitude, appreciation, and love.

We can start and finish each day with, “Thank you, truly thank you for all the blessings in my life.”  A grateful heart supports a balanced, peaceful life.  We create work-life balance from the inside out as we bring a grateful heart to ourselves, our life, and the world.

There’s all kinds of life hacks and mom hacks about how we can be more efficient, how we can make more time and streamline our lives.

And that’s great. 

We can appreciate and use all suggestions that give us more time and make our lives easier.  So, thank you to all the wonderful people with real-time, grounded suggestions like online grocery shopping and having our food delivered to us. 

It does make a difference. It is helpful.

And work-life balance is so much more than concrete ways of organizing ourselves to reduce stress. 

It’s a feeling thing. 

We can apply all the hacks in the world, but if we still feel exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed, we need more; we need a better way.

Part of this better way is saying no to guilt for taking time to exercise, connect with friends, and do something that rejuvenates us.  We need to be able to engage in ‘me time’ in a way that lifts us up, so that self-defeating habits that don’t serve us can fall away.

Recalibrating to kindness and love expands our horizons on all levels.  It opens us up to more beauty and joy.  It gives us a deeper appreciation of all the connection and love in our lives.  It helps us to be and do our best in a way that takes the wholeness of life into account.  

If we don’t take the time to walk, run, exercise, take a bath, talk to a friend, breathe, let go and be with ourselves or people that understand us and we connect with, we’re going to burn out; we’re not going to be good for ourselves or others. 

We can’t be everything to everybody all the time. It doesn't work.

It’s not selfish to incorporate self-love and self-care habits that fill us up, give us the strength, tenacity, and willingness to endure in a heartfelt way whatever life presents.

So, what are your daily and weekly self-love, self-care habits?  How do you breathe and give yourself the time and space to be you, to recharge your batteries and refresh your outlook on life?

For me three-minute hot showers seem to wash away the day and leave me feeling refreshed. I also love yoga, walking, hiking and being in nature, appreciating her beauty.  What about you?

So many say, "I don't have time".  Perhaps the time is there, if we choose it. Stop scrolling on social media, zoning out on Netflix, or playing games online. 

Start giving back to yourself.  Make your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing a priority in a way that serves you.  Join a group with the same aspirations and goals to support and champion yourself.

It’s easier together. It can be hard road alone.

Set reachable goals, put your heart into it, and start by taking one small step forward and then another, acknowledging yourself and every small victory along the way. 

Remember it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that counts.  Allow your self-care, self-love journey to be enjoyable, to fill your cup up with acceptance and love until it’s full and overflowing. 

Work-life balance is an ongoing journey where we need to be flexible, adaptable, and real with ourselves.  If we don’t make time for ourselves now, we could be forced to make time later. 

We’re naturally more kind, patient and tolerant with our kids and family when we give to ourselves.

Recalibrating to kindness and love refreshes our work-life balance.  It enables us to give from a full and overflowing heart.

How are you going with your work-life balance? Are you running off your to-do list? Do you take time for yourself?

We can burn out in many ways. One of the biggest ways is stress. 

Stress affects our ability to think clearly and complete tasks. It clogs up our digestive system. How can we effectively digest and use the food we consume when we are in fight or flight response. We cannot. And stress generally reduces the quality of our lives. 

Here’s one simple thing you can do this week to combat stress. Breathe. Breathe in a way that you are instructing our body to move from fight or flight mode to rest and relax mode.

Many of us know that breath work is very helpful, but do we take time to breathe in a way that allows us to release, relax and let go? Maybe not.

Practice this in your car, standing in a line, taking a walk, listening to someone else talk. Incorporate it into your life. Even put alarms are your phone to remind you: Am I breathing?

Simply breathe in through your nose and out of your nose with the out breath longer than the in breath.

It’s that simple. 

And here’s another idea: Before you start breathing like this, check in with yourself. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 feeling zero stress and 10 feeling like you’re going to burst a blood vessel, where am I?

Then as you go about tasks where you can focus on your breath work, breathe.

Focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your nose with the out breath longer than the in breath for 2 to 10 minutes.  Take the time you need to relax and let go.  

Then check in with the scale again. What's different now? How are you feeling?

Pause, breathe and notice what you are learning about yourself.

Repeat every day several times a day as practice makes permanent.

Noticing what's falling away, how you're responding to life and how you actually feel.

Welcome to What Makes a Good Coach Part 6:  Loving the Truth & Biases

As Coaches, we can see people, situations and events in a way that obstructs the truth and blocks our inner knowing. Just like the rest of humanity, we can have conscious and unconscious biases.

As good coaches, we explore our inner world and acknowledge our biases.  We review our coaching sessions to uncover skewed ways of seeing clients and their concerns, and discover better, clearer, brighter ways of handling whatever they bring to the table.

When we acknowledge any bias, opinion or judgment, we welcome in more self-acceptance; we strengthen our courage muscle so that seeing and knowing any Truth is better than hiding under a rock and playing small.

Self-reflection and going within enables us to accept our clients where they are at, no matter how they see themselves, their lives, and the world around them. 

As we more deeply care for ourselves and accept ourselves, so are we able to bring that presence of deep self-acceptance to our clients.

As good coaches, we know that we are always a work in progress, and make it a habit, a way of life of being curious and open to discovering our blind spots, what needs to be acknowledged, felt and released; what needs to be dissolved and let go.

We are not attached to our clients ‘getting’ something, having an epiphany, making a change or being different. 

We hold an open, expansive, unconditionally loving space for anything to happen, from life-changing realizations to blockages that seem insurmountable in the moment. 

All experiences and feelings are welcome.

As good coaches, we allow the Truth to be revealed in any way that helps us best serve the clients and people in our care.

We welcome the Truth, ask to be shown the Truth, ask to be shown when we’ve gone down a rabbit hole, ask to be shown when we’re being closed-minded, when we're hiding behind a wall of illusion.

We are aware that biases can be a minefield, hiding in plain sight; that uncovering what does not serve is a lifetime process; that there are always more patterns and programs that block or diminish the unconditionally loving, coaching presence that we aspire to be; that there are no shortcuts, only an ever-open inquiring heart and mind and the ability to face, feel, and transmute into love whatever dark and fearful bits rise to top.

As good coaches, we hold the ideal for our clients without desiring any particular outcome.  To do so could cloud or block where our clients need to go. 

We have an expanding worldview, a way of seeing and experiencing life and the world around us that is greater than anything we could concoct in our heads, and we help our clients acknowledge their worldview and explore ways of making their dreams and goals a reality so that their limiting beliefs can fall by the wayside too.

We show up authentic, real, and true, knowing who we are, what we bring to the world and who we aspire to be. 

There are no masks, no posturing or grandstanding, no clinging to any ways of being, no coveting any role. 

We love being of service, giving back, helping others; we enjoy learning and growing, no matter how confronting that may feel in the moment.

The joy and wonder of life wins out over playing small and staying the same; the adventure of being alive, having victories and making mistakes wins out over any embarrassment of being wrong, of having biases that were previously veiled and unknown being uncovered and dissolved in the light of Truth.

We affirm:  I love the Truth, Please show me the Truth, I choose to know the Truth. 

We Love and accept ourselves and our clients. 

We acknowledge "This is who I am, and this is where I am at." 

We hold the ideal for the highest good of all concerned.

We choose to be powerfully loving and allow love to restore the balance.