Breathing is one of the primary signs of life. It is more important to us than almost anything else. If we need proof, we can ask ourselves the question, ‘Which am I willing to go without for an hour – breath, water, sunlight or food?’

Breathing has another significant function. It is a barometer read by our subconscious mind in an ongoing evaluation of our current life situation. When we feel threatened, we hold our breath or breathe shallowly. When we feel at peace we breathe fully and slowly.

Full, slow breathing sends a message of serenity to our body even when we are stressed, making it a simple, gentle yet powerful stress management tool.

Simple Breathing Techniques 

One simple breathing technique is to breathe in through the nose and out through the nose, with the out breath longer than the in breath.  When the out breath is longer, it signals the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system to relax, release, soften and let go.  It tells the body that it's safe and secure. 

Another simple breathing technique is to breath in through the nose and out through the mouth with a sigh, a deep "ahhhh" sound.  This is a great way to let go of your day, to release the anxiety and stress that you've been carrying around in your body and just let go. 

Another breathing technique is to breathe in through the nose and out through the nose with no pause between the in breath and out breath.  This technique is called Conscious Connected Breathing.  As we breathe in, before our lungs are full, we breathe out, and and we breath out before our lungs are empty, we breathe in. It becomes a beautiful cycle. 

As we focus on our breath and oxygenate our bodies, it's no problem is we have thoughts.  Just visualize and see your thoughts and big white fluffy clouds passing before you in a beautiful blue sky.  We see and acknowledge them and let them go. 

We can practice these breathing techniques anywhere, anytime.  As we make them a part of our lives, we retrain our body to let go of stress and to welcome calm assurance as an ongoing state of being.

Other people’s opinions are none of our business. Unless what they are saying helps us to make love a priority, it’s not important. 

Opinions are judgments.  Usually, they are simply a reflection of where someone is at or what they are dealing with and have nothing to do with us. 

It’s important to protect ourselves so we are not thrown off track by someone else’s opinion.  When someone tries to force their opinion on us, they project negative streams of energy at us that can throw us off balance. We can protect ourselves by visualizing and feeling that we are surrounded by a golden bubble of protection that is filled with golden healing light.  We can affirm that we are only open to unconditional love and above.

Judgments are in the fear vibration and are not about love.  We can affirm that anything that is not about love is returned to its original source with love.   Thus, we are choosing to feel worthy of giving and receiving love.

We don’t have to share what we are thinking, feeling, and doing.  We can simply smile and nod our head in all the right places.  It’s usually easier to deflect judgment without offering an explanation or ‘making a scene’. When we choose love, say ‘no’ to fear and don’t engage in other people’s opinions, it’s easier to enjoy what life has to offer.

Welcome to What Makes a Good Coach Part 6:  Loving the Truth & Biases

As Coaches, we can see people, situations and events in a way that obstructs the truth and blocks our inner knowing. Just like the rest of humanity, we can have conscious and unconscious biases.

As good coaches, we explore our inner world and acknowledge our biases.  We review our coaching sessions to uncover skewed ways of seeing clients and their concerns, and discover better, clearer, brighter ways of handling whatever they bring to the table.

When we acknowledge any bias, opinion or judgment, we welcome in more self-acceptance; we strengthen our courage muscle so that seeing and knowing any Truth is better than hiding under a rock and playing small.

Self-reflection and going within enables us to accept our clients where they are at, no matter how they see themselves, their lives, and the world around them. 

As we more deeply care for ourselves and accept ourselves, so are we able to bring that presence of deep self-acceptance to our clients.

As good coaches, we know that we are always a work in progress, and make it a habit, a way of life of being curious and open to discovering our blind spots, what needs to be acknowledged, felt and released; what needs to be dissolved and let go.

We are not attached to our clients ‘getting’ something, having an epiphany, making a change or being different. 

We hold an open, expansive, unconditionally loving space for anything to happen, from life-changing realizations to blockages that seem insurmountable in the moment. 

All experiences and feelings are welcome.

As good coaches, we allow the Truth to be revealed in any way that helps us best serve the clients and people in our care.

We welcome the Truth, ask to be shown the Truth, ask to be shown when we’ve gone down a rabbit hole, ask to be shown when we’re being closed-minded, when we're hiding behind a wall of illusion.

We are aware that biases can be a minefield, hiding in plain sight; that uncovering what does not serve is a lifetime process; that there are always more patterns and programs that block or diminish the unconditionally loving, coaching presence that we aspire to be; that there are no shortcuts, only an ever-open inquiring heart and mind and the ability to face, feel, and transmute into love whatever dark and fearful bits rise to top.

As good coaches, we hold the ideal for our clients without desiring any particular outcome.  To do so could cloud or block where our clients need to go. 

We have an expanding worldview, a way of seeing and experiencing life and the world around us that is greater than anything we could concoct in our heads, and we help our clients acknowledge their worldview and explore ways of making their dreams and goals a reality so that their limiting beliefs can fall by the wayside too.

We show up authentic, real, and true, knowing who we are, what we bring to the world and who we aspire to be. 

There are no masks, no posturing or grandstanding, no clinging to any ways of being, no coveting any role. 

We love being of service, giving back, helping others; we enjoy learning and growing, no matter how confronting that may feel in the moment.

The joy and wonder of life wins out over playing small and staying the same; the adventure of being alive, having victories and making mistakes wins out over any embarrassment of being wrong, of having biases that were previously veiled and unknown being uncovered and dissolved in the light of Truth.

We affirm:  I love the Truth, Please show me the Truth, I choose to know the Truth. 

We Love and accept ourselves and our clients. 

We acknowledge "This is who I am, and this is where I am at." 

We hold the ideal for the highest good of all concerned.

We choose to be powerfully loving and allow love to restore the balance.

Welcome to What Makes a Good Coach, Part 5: Loving Confront

A good coach knows that there is a time and place to lovingly confront her client, to bring to the client's attention something they have been refusing to acknowledge or see, to bring to the client's attention what's been blocking resolution of an aspiration or goal that they've brought to table.

A good coach knows that the expansive, unconditionally supportive coaching presence that she holds opens doors for the client to explore and resolve what the client has been unable or unwilling to turn around and see.

This loving confront takes courage, empathy, conviction and a deep willingness to serve, which all good coaches share.  We desire to serve our clients, to walk alongside them in a way that facilitates new realizations and inspirations and positive steps forward.

A good coach knows how to lovingly confront her clients with something they are missing, avoiding, denying or pretending doesn't exist.

For example, a client may defer to the people at work, be a doormat and agree to take on more work than they can handle.  At home, the client may be strict, controlling and unreasonable with their children, like the tyrant they succumb to at work.

The client may be unaware that their behavior is driving away the people that are closest to them, that the client truly loves and things will never leave her, no matter the depth of her behavior.

When there's something that's obvious and profound tha the client doesn't see, it can help for the coach to name it so that the client can decide 'Where to from here?'

Then, it's up to the client to welcome or dismiss the coach's sharing as relevant or irrelevant to their life and their goals.

For the good coach, however the client decides to work or not work with what's on offer is fine.  She knows that no matter what, all will unfold for the client in diving timing and diving order.