One of the biggest obstacles to work-life harmony and balance is avoiding and denying our feelings, pretending that they don’t exist, pushing them away, and distracting ourselves with social media, sex, food, movies, mind-altering substances, and more.

It’s amazing how housework and spring cleaning become attractive when we don’t want to feel what we have decided are bad or painful feelings.

There are no bad feelings.

Feelings are simply something that we can allow to move through us and be replaced with more love.

The problem is we judge our feelings and make them wrong.  We judge ourselves for having these feelings.  There’s this myth that there must be something wrong with us if we’re not happy.

Happiness is an elusive goal.

When we strive to be happy, we look outside of ourselves for validation and love. 

And that’s a recipe for disaster. 

Most people are chasing happiness, so their life is like a roller coaster, with lots of highs and lows, lots of drama, and unfulfilled desires and expectations.

When we don’t feel our unresolved painful feelings and make new choices that support us moving forward and experiencing more love, they don’t go away. 

Feelings can be pushed into our bodies and cause disease.  They can be pushed into the energy field surrounding our bodies and cause mental disturbances like anxiety and depression.

Believe it or not, it’s easier to feel and stay with our difficult feelings, holding them in our compassion and love and allowing them to return to where they belong in time and space, than to push them away or try and avoid them.  When we don’t deal with them, they build up and boomerang back bigger and stronger. 

So, if feeling is healing, how do we do that? 

How do we feel our painful feelings without falling into a deep, dark hole with them? 

How do we stay conscious and in our hearts when our feelings are filled with anxiety, overwhelm, grief, and fear?

As you ponder these questions, notice how you are feeling.  On a scale of one to ten, with one being very anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed and ten being very relaxed, open, calm, and peaceful, where are you now? 

Write down that number and any words that describe how you are feeling.

Now let’s focus on the first key to Feeling is Healing, which is being aligned to love and centered in our hearts.  One way to experience this is through circular breathing.

Close your eyes.  Sit with your spine straight and your feet flat on the floor.

Start by breathing in through the nose and out of the nose with no pause between the in-breath and the out-breath.  This is circular breathing.

Breathe like this for three to ten minutes until you feel yourself deepening into your breath, your busy mind stilled and relaxed, and feeling fully present in your body.

Continuing to breathe this way, only now breathe in and out of your high heart or heart chakra deep within your chest.  Notice how this feels, focusing on and energizing your high heart.

Return to comfortable breathing. Still breathing more deeply, feeling your chest and abdomen rise and fall with each breath, and notice how you feel.

We are calming the busy mind, oxygenating our bodies, aligning to love, and centering in our heart of hearts.

Revisit the one-to-ten scale. Where are you now? How are you feeling?  Make a note of this.

Notice how simple it is to change your experience by oxygenating the body, and taking it from fight or flight mode to rest and relax mode.

From this space, we are more expanded and at peace.  We are more able to feel as we feel without judgment.  We are more able to be grateful for our feelings and flood ourselves with love.

This is the transformational space that we hold to feel our feelings.

Managing our time can be tricky, no matter how organized we are.  We can be thrown off track by an unexpected phone call, someone who needs our help, or a barrage of texts.

We can also be thrown off track by noise pollution like construction, traffic, sirens, people talking around us, or the negative self-talk in our heads.

We need to be clear about what constitutes a real emergency and what does not.  We need to know when not to respond and how to do it, and when someone else’s problem is not our own.

Today, let’s consider some tips on how to stop people from distracting us when we need to focus on a task, and no one else’s problem requires our immediate time and attention.

Wear Noise Cancelling Headphones.

Wearing noise-canceling headphones tells the people around us that we’re focused, working and not to be disturbed.  Headphones give us a sense of privacy from the people around us.

Shut Our Door

If we have our own office, close the door, and tell our team or the people working with or around us that we need a block of time to concentrate.  It can be as simple as sending out a group email or text that is kind, clear, and direct.

Listen to Music or Other Sounds

For ones who prefer background noise while working, instrumental songs, white noise, ambient music, or nature sounds are great alternatives.  Here’s an interesting website with some music/sound alternatives: https://moleerelaxmusic.com/ultimate-work-music-playlist-for-productivity/

Use Alternative Spaces

If it’s a viable option, work from home or use a conference room to avoid interruptions.

Remove Chairs, Stand, or Speak Up

When we work in an open-plan office, we can remove extra chairs around or in front of our desk or stand when a colleague arrives.  If someone in our space frequently interrupts us, we can talk to them; they may not even realize that they are distracting us and that we need uninterrupted blocks of time to get our work done.

Final Reflections

​Distractions are time-consuming, costly, and add to our stress.  A conversation with a co-worker can make us late for a meeting with our team.  Checking our emails, reading customers’ X (Twitter) comments, or surfing the internet for cheap vacation flights can take more time than anticipated for us to fully regain our focus on the task at hand. 

Many things can distract us. Focusing on all the things that can distract us in one blog article can be overwhelming and can cause us to distract ourselves because it’s too much to digest and put into practice in one sitting.

Find what works for you and your team members to get more done. We are all works in progress. The only thing certain is that everything changes. Regularly review what’s helping to lower stress and increase not only productivity but also feelings of confidence and the satisfaction of a job well done.

Do you want to structure and manage your time more effectively, completing important tasks and projects in a timely, professional manner?  

Then step one is to eliminate digital distractions that needlessly waste your time and cause added stress and brain fog in your life.

The solution is easy. Applying it can be challenging.

Why?

Scrolling through social media, checking texts, emails, and what’s happening on your favorite Apps is addictive.  There’s an endorphin rush and a feeling of connectivity associated with these activities, or you wouldn’t engage in them. 

Five minutes become fifteen, then forty-five and you’ve lost a chunk of time during your day.

Digital interruptions hijack your productivity, break your concentration, and interrupt the flow of thoughts, insights, and ideas that make you uniquely you.

Creativity flows best in a quiet, supportive work environment where you feel fresh, focused, and relaxed, where you’ve blocked off time and the distractions of the world so you can do the work that requires your immediate time and attention.

Finishing a task or project or the chunk of a task or project that you set aside for today creates an endorphin rush, as well.

And, this one isn’t transient.

It supports your productive, positive self for the rest of the day. It lays the foundation for future productive, positive moments in all areas of your life.

Your body-mind remembers the feeling of success, and no one can take that away from you.

Because social media, texts, emails, and your favorite Apps are an addiction, it’s not unusual to experience withdrawal symptoms similar to stopping smoking, gaming, drinking coffee, or consuming sugar. 

Have a plan in place in case you experience headaches, irritability, or fatigue.

Your ego and your body want that fix.  You need something to replace the addiction until you retrain yourself to say no and stay positive during your productivity blocks of time.

Here are a few suggestions:

Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose with the out-breath longer than the in-breath, and do this at least ten times. This physiologically takes your body out of fight-or-flight response and into rest and relax mode.

Take a 2-minute break, go outside, and breathe fresh air. Appreciate your feet on the ground and feel yourself fully present in your body and grateful for your life.

Remember something you’re grateful for: someone you love, a fun time you recently enjoyed, or anything that helps you focus on the bright side of life.

It’s amazing how quickly the body and mind adapt when you are determined to implement a new way of approaching time management that engenders success.

Success that supports your mental, emotional, and physical health, and positively changes how you feel about yourself.

During the transition phase, remember to be kind, patient, and tolerant with yourself.

If you fall back into that old way of being, review what happened.  

Ask yourself:

Why did I fall back into this pattern and program?

What did I learn about myself?

What could I do differently next time?

How would that look and feel?

Then visualize it and know it to be true. 

Feel and know that this is who you are now, committed, confident, and self-assured. This is the productivity, time-management path that works best for you.

Do you want to manage your time better, be more productive and focus on what matters?

Of course you do. Everyone wants time management skills, as they are a key to work-life balance. They give us the time to engage in other activities that are important to us.

The problem is that some of our time-management skills could use an upgrade. It’s not because we’re incompetent or don’t care; we’re smart, talented and care a lot.  

It’s not because we haven’t tried; we have.  It’s not because we don’t have the desire; we do.

It’s because we first need to master three skills:

Awareness

Being aware of how much time we have today to complete tasks, and how long each task will take.

Having design and organizational skills

Knowing how to design and organize our goals, plans, schedules, and tasks to make wise use of our time.

Being adaptable and flexible

Adjusting how much time we spend on an activity because of interruptions and shifting priorities.

Prioritizing what needs to be done.

Where do we start? 

While we are mastering these skills (the subject of another article), we give ourselves a win by deciding tonight what needs to be accomplished at work tomorrow. 

What's the most pressing? What's the priority that needs to be done?

It could be time consuming. We may dread tackling it. We may have procrastinated and pushed it to one side. 

Whatever the task is, that's where we'll begin first thing in the morning and work until done.

And we make a list of what needs to be done within the task, numbering those subtasks in order of importance.

We breathe, acknowledge a job well done, relax and enjoy our personal time.

And we overestimate how long it will take.  We give ourselves a generous window of time.

If it’s a project with a lengthier timeframe, we write down the tasks within the project that need to be done and choose the most pressing one to start and finish tomorrow,

Be honest.

We know in our heart-of-hearts the task that would put the biggest smile to have in our rearview mirror.

How does this help?

When we get to work, even if we work from home, we already know our priority and where to start.

This saves us time and energy and mitigates anxiety and stress.

And then there's the gift of completing our priority task: a big endorphin rush!

We are a successful person. We did what needed to be done.

We didn’t divert our energy into small tasks that can wait.

We stepped up to the plate and accomplished something noteworthy.

This sets us up for success the rest of the day.

Knowing that anything else we accomplish is icing on the cake.

Standing straighter. Holding our head up high, enjoying life a little bit more.