There’s all kinds of life hacks and mom hacks about how we can be more efficient, how we can make more time and streamline our lives.

And that’s great. 

We can appreciate and use all suggestions that give us more time and make our lives easier.  So, thank you to all the wonderful people with real-time, grounded suggestions like online grocery shopping and having our food delivered to us. 

It does make a difference. It is helpful.

And work-life balance is so much more than concrete ways of organizing ourselves to reduce stress. 

It’s a feeling thing. 

We can apply all the hacks in the world, but if we still feel exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed, we need more; we need a better way.

Part of this better way is saying no to guilt for taking time to exercise, connect with friends, and do something that rejuvenates us.  We need to be able to engage in ‘me time’ in a way that lifts us up, so that self-defeating habits that don’t serve us can fall away.

Recalibrating to kindness and love expands our horizons on all levels.  It opens us up to more beauty and joy.  It gives us a deeper appreciation of all the connection and love in our lives.  It helps us to be and do our best in a way that takes the wholeness of life into account.  

If we don’t take the time to walk, run, exercise, take a bath, talk to a friend, breathe, let go and be with ourselves or people that understand us and we connect with, we’re going to burn out; we’re not going to be good for ourselves or others. 

We can’t be everything to everybody all the time. It doesn't work.

It’s not selfish to incorporate self-love and self-care habits that fill us up, give us the strength, tenacity, and willingness to endure in a heartfelt way whatever life presents.

So, what are your daily and weekly self-love, self-care habits?  How do you breathe and give yourself the time and space to be you, to recharge your batteries and refresh your outlook on life?

For me three-minute hot showers seem to wash away the day and leave me feeling refreshed. I also love yoga, walking, hiking and being in nature, appreciating her beauty.  What about you?

So many say, "I don't have time".  Perhaps the time is there, if we choose it. Stop scrolling on social media, zoning out on Netflix, or playing games online. 

Start giving back to yourself.  Make your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing a priority in a way that serves you.  Join a group with the same aspirations and goals to support and champion yourself.

It’s easier together. It can be hard road alone.

Set reachable goals, put your heart into it, and start by taking one small step forward and then another, acknowledging yourself and every small victory along the way. 

Remember it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that counts.  Allow your self-care, self-love journey to be enjoyable, to fill your cup up with acceptance and love until it’s full and overflowing. 

Work-life balance is an ongoing journey where we need to be flexible, adaptable, and real with ourselves.  If we don’t make time for ourselves now, we could be forced to make time later. 

We’re naturally more kind, patient and tolerant with our kids and family when we give to ourselves.

Recalibrating to kindness and love refreshes our work-life balance.  It enables us to give from a full and overflowing heart.

How are you going with your work-life balance? Are you running off your to-do list? Do you take time for yourself?

We can burn out in many ways. One of the biggest ways is stress. 

Stress affects our ability to think clearly and complete tasks. It clogs up our digestive system. How can we effectively digest and use the food we consume when we are in fight or flight response. We cannot. And stress generally reduces the quality of our lives. 

Here’s one simple thing you can do this week to combat stress. Breathe. Breathe in a way that you are instructing our body to move from fight or flight mode to rest and relax mode.

Many of us know that breath work is very helpful, but do we take time to breathe in a way that allows us to release, relax and let go? Maybe not.

Practice this in your car, standing in a line, taking a walk, listening to someone else talk. Incorporate it into your life. Even put alarms are your phone to remind you: Am I breathing?

Simply breathe in through your nose and out of your nose with the out breath longer than the in breath.

It’s that simple. 

And here’s another idea: Before you start breathing like this, check in with yourself. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 feeling zero stress and 10 feeling like you’re going to burst a blood vessel, where am I?

Then as you go about tasks where you can focus on your breath work, breathe.

Focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your nose with the out breath longer than the in breath for 2 to 10 minutes.  Take the time you need to relax and let go.  

Then check in with the scale again. What's different now? How are you feeling?

Pause, breathe and notice what you are learning about yourself.

Repeat every day several times a day as practice makes permanent.

Noticing what's falling away, how you're responding to life and how you actually feel.

Welcome to What Makes a Good Coach Part 6:  Loving the Truth & Biases

As Coaches, we can see people, situations and events in a way that obstructs the truth and blocks our inner knowing. Just like the rest of humanity, we can have conscious and unconscious biases.

As good coaches, we explore our inner world and acknowledge our biases.  We review our coaching sessions to uncover skewed ways of seeing clients and their concerns, and discover better, clearer, brighter ways of handling whatever they bring to the table.

When we acknowledge any bias, opinion or judgment, we welcome in more self-acceptance; we strengthen our courage muscle so that seeing and knowing any Truth is better than hiding under a rock and playing small.

Self-reflection and going within enables us to accept our clients where they are at, no matter how they see themselves, their lives, and the world around them. 

As we more deeply care for ourselves and accept ourselves, so are we able to bring that presence of deep self-acceptance to our clients.

As good coaches, we know that we are always a work in progress, and make it a habit, a way of life of being curious and open to discovering our blind spots, what needs to be acknowledged, felt and released; what needs to be dissolved and let go.

We are not attached to our clients ‘getting’ something, having an epiphany, making a change or being different. 

We hold an open, expansive, unconditionally loving space for anything to happen, from life-changing realizations to blockages that seem insurmountable in the moment. 

All experiences and feelings are welcome.

As good coaches, we allow the Truth to be revealed in any way that helps us best serve the clients and people in our care.

We welcome the Truth, ask to be shown the Truth, ask to be shown when we’ve gone down a rabbit hole, ask to be shown when we’re being closed-minded, when we're hiding behind a wall of illusion.

We are aware that biases can be a minefield, hiding in plain sight; that uncovering what does not serve is a lifetime process; that there are always more patterns and programs that block or diminish the unconditionally loving, coaching presence that we aspire to be; that there are no shortcuts, only an ever-open inquiring heart and mind and the ability to face, feel, and transmute into love whatever dark and fearful bits rise to top.

As good coaches, we hold the ideal for our clients without desiring any particular outcome.  To do so could cloud or block where our clients need to go. 

We have an expanding worldview, a way of seeing and experiencing life and the world around us that is greater than anything we could concoct in our heads, and we help our clients acknowledge their worldview and explore ways of making their dreams and goals a reality so that their limiting beliefs can fall by the wayside too.

We show up authentic, real, and true, knowing who we are, what we bring to the world and who we aspire to be. 

There are no masks, no posturing or grandstanding, no clinging to any ways of being, no coveting any role. 

We love being of service, giving back, helping others; we enjoy learning and growing, no matter how confronting that may feel in the moment.

The joy and wonder of life wins out over playing small and staying the same; the adventure of being alive, having victories and making mistakes wins out over any embarrassment of being wrong, of having biases that were previously veiled and unknown being uncovered and dissolved in the light of Truth.

We affirm:  I love the Truth, Please show me the Truth, I choose to know the Truth. 

We Love and accept ourselves and our clients. 

We acknowledge "This is who I am, and this is where I am at." 

We hold the ideal for the highest good of all concerned.

We choose to be powerfully loving and allow love to restore the balance.

Welcome to What Makes a Good Coach, Part 5: Loving Confront

A good coach knows that there is a time and place to lovingly confront her client, to bring to the client's attention something they have been refusing to acknowledge or see, to bring to the client's attention what's been blocking resolution of an aspiration or goal that they've brought to table.

A good coach knows that the expansive, unconditionally supportive coaching presence that she holds opens doors for the client to explore and resolve what the client has been unable or unwilling to turn around and see.

This loving confront takes courage, empathy, conviction and a deep willingness to serve, which all good coaches share.  We desire to serve our clients, to walk alongside them in a way that facilitates new realizations and inspirations and positive steps forward.

A good coach knows how to lovingly confront her clients with something they are missing, avoiding, denying or pretending doesn't exist.

For example, a client may defer to the people at work, be a doormat and agree to take on more work than they can handle.  At home, the client may be strict, controlling and unreasonable with their children, like the tyrant they succumb to at work.

The client may be unaware that their behavior is driving away the people that are closest to them, that the client truly loves and things will never leave her, no matter the depth of her behavior.

When there's something that's obvious and profound tha the client doesn't see, it can help for the coach to name it so that the client can decide 'Where to from here?'

Then, it's up to the client to welcome or dismiss the coach's sharing as relevant or irrelevant to their life and their goals.

For the good coach, however the client decides to work or not work with what's on offer is fine.  She knows that no matter what, all will unfold for the client in diving timing and diving order.