Peer reviews often don't work.  People feel too confronted or defensive to individually or as a team get the results intended.

Here's the problem with peer reviews:  You don't know what to say because a colleague is doing a good job; or, you don't work closely enough with them on a daily basis to have an opinion. And personally, if you are honest with yourself, what you really want to know is what your colleagues thing about you.

Maybe you have some anxieties and don't know if they are well-founded or just in your head and it's affecting your sleep, mood, attitude and quality of life.  You may wonder how valued you are as a team player, if you are goin a good job with your staff and critiquing their work or if you are seen as being too social or anti-social.

Here's what some companies and organizations are doing: They are setting aside structure time to let select groups of people get their anxieties out in the open and calling them Anxiety Parties.

I don't like the name; it's focusing on the reverse of an idea, what we don't want to create and perpetuate at work.  Can you help me to come up with something more forward sounding?  Maybe a Partnering for Success Party.

The point is, if moderated and structured properly, if participants know that they are safe and in judgment free space, Anxiety Parties can help foster a happy, enthusiastic, and productive corporate culture leading to more job satisfaction, productivity, and a better quality of life.

So, here's how to structure your Anxiety Party or Partnering for Success Party:

Gather a small group of colleagues or team members together for an hour in a quiet meeting room.

For the first 10 minutes, each person writes down their biggest anxieties on a private sheet of paper.

For the next 2 minutes, everyone ranks their anxieties, ones that worry them the most to the least.

For the next 30 minutes or so, each person shares their top anxieties to the group. 

After each sharing, everyone takes a few seconds to rank how much it troubles them: from Zero (“It never even occurred to me that this was an issue”) to Five (“I strongly believe you need to improve in this area.”)

Then everyone shares their numbers and there is a discussion on how to help that colleague resolve 5's 4's and 3's.

You may discover that most of your anxieties are baseless. Maybe you are afraid that your colleagues view you as a lone wolf instead of team player, but they really enjoy working with you and don’t mind if you are off on a project on your own for a few weeks.

Some of your anxieties may be well-founded. Maybe you are worried that you are placing too much emphasis on conferences and networking events over other priorities, and that does annoy your colleagues. Then great! The issue is on the table and you can talk about the pros and cons and come up with a new plan together.

Notice how this is not a meeting about anyone telling you what to do. It's supportive brainstorming to help you be better at what you do.  It can feel like the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders to talk openly and honestly with your peers and work things out together.

Are these 'parties' the perfect solution for all small groups or teams? No. There must be a high level of trust and support to be open, honest and vulnerable. If your group or team feels this level of psychological safety, then it's a great stress deactivator, confidence booster and group harmonizer.  It's a great way to bond and feel part of something bigger than yourself, as together you see a clearer way forward.

And, even with the best of teams, it can be good idea to have a professional coach or trusted moderator on board to ensure that your 'party' is a team building experience.