Creating Safe Spaces

Welcome to Part 2 of What Makes a Good Coach. 

As coaches, not only are we holding an expansive space of unconditional positive regard, unconditional love for our clients, we are also holding a space that has absolutely no judgment, a judgment free zone, a space free of opinions of what our clients should or should not do, how they should or shouldn't be. In fact, this space is one of what could be, all the possibilities open to him or her.

So here goes:

A good coach holds a judgment-free space for the client. 

No matter what our client says or does, the coach doesn’t have an opinion about it. 

The coach doesn’t think that what the client is doing or saying is right or wrong, good or bad.  The coach listens intently to best serve the client, but never formulates an agenda for them. 

Coaches know in their heart of hearts that their client has all the answers inside of them. 

Coaches know that no matter where they are at or how far they appear to have wandered down a road that does not serve them, in time they will find their way home. 

And that no matter what the coach could offer as a mentor, consultant or teacher, the realizations clients eventually come to and the steps forward they decide to take will be perfect for them in the moment.

and . . . 

What applies to coaches, also applies to attorneys/law firms and executives/companies.  When attorneys and professionals work with certified coaches to upgrade their communication and negotiation skills, they discover how to create safe spaces for  conversations that are honest and respectful, even when perspectives differ.  They discover the art of creating a safe space for conversations that otherwise might never occur.

Listening & Presence

I decided to start a writing project, a heartfelt ongoing multi-article sharing about coaching; what I think and feel makes a good coach; there are so many different kinds of coaches, from different modalities of training, with different ways of relating with their clients and the world around them. 

For me, it always comes down to the basics, the foundation of how we live our lives, professionally, personally, and spiritually: Who am I bringing to the world? Is she someone that I would trust? Is she someone that I would open up to?

This first article is about Coaching Presence, the presence that we hold as coaches; this is the heart of coaching. 

And knowing that most people who read my articles are not coaches. I feel that what I share can help you, can be applied in your life no matter what you do. 

The presence that we hold affects who we love, our intimate relationships, our relationship with family and friends; it affects how we are perceived at work and impression that we make, the hearts that we touch, in every aspect of our lives. 

So here goes: What Makes a Good Coach, Part 1 — Coaching Presence.

A good coach is someone who holds an expansive, loving presence. 

He is fully present here now. He is grounded like a tree with roots deep into the heart of the earth.S

She is in this now moment with her client. She is compassionate and empathic.  She is here with her client on all levels — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

He’s not scattered or distracted. 

She is competent, attentive, and curious. 

Everything he says and does is in alignment with what’s best for his client. His mantra is, “It’s not about me.”

It’s the sacred space that we hold for self and others that opens doors.

That’s it. Short and sweet. I feel that we can make life too complicated, use big words and confuse what we’re trying to express. 

So . . .

It’s about expanding out our energy and taking up more space from the heart. 

It’s about aligning to love and centering in our heart of hearts. 

It’s about being grounded from our heart to the heart of the planet.

It’s about knowing how to work with and interact with others so that they feel heard and understood, so that they feel safe and able to open up and express themselves more fully and deeply. 

It’s about holding a space that is conducive to positive change, that is about nurturing the positive movement forward of ones within our sphere of influence.

When we share simply, in clear, precise language, using words from the heart and not the head, when we share in a way that’s meaningful to us, that inspires us, that’s when I believe the magic happens.

The same presence that supports effective coaching also strengthens leadership. Attorneys, professionals and executives who know how to effectively communicate and negotiate so people feel see, heard, respected and understood, inspire, support and elevate those around them.  They create windows of opportunity where the culture is elevated and prosperity and community become a state of being.