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It’s really important to set clear and appropriate boundaries with the people we contact and interact with in our day-to-day life.  


How do you set boundaries? Do you set boundaries based on how you are feeling? 


For example, you are feeling really great and happy and loving, so your boundaries are wide open because you are feeling great?  This is a big mistake.  If you set your boundaries based upon how you feel, then someone can come along who is angry, upset, in reaction, projecting and knock you over with their energy.  Then you will tell yourself that it’s not safe to be open and shut down. 


The masterful way to set your boundaries, the way to set your boundaries that involves the most self-love and self-care, is to set your boundaries based upon how the other person is. That’s right, you set your boundaries based upon how loving the other person is. 


If the other person is open and loving, then you can allow your boundaries to relax a little bit and be genuinely more open with this person.  If the other person is not in love, but in some kind of fear, is anxious, frustrated, angry or upset, then you toughen up your boundaries, so your system is not polluted by their fear.  



So, the other person is holding a space of love, one of kindness and/or compassion, you can open up more; the other person is holding a space of anger and frustration, self-righteousness and superiority, you strengthen your boundaries and keep the less than love energies out. 



Our boundaries that we set for ourselves are porous.  The love comes in and touches our heart, the less than love is lovingly mirrored back to its source. Thanks, but no thank you to that energy.  We have enough to deal with without taking on the negative energies of others; and you will feel markedly better, more solid, confident and in your heart, when you are not dealing with the negativity and energy pollution of others!



Keep on loving and respecting yourself, as this will make you more fit for service, more able to share your gifts, talents and abilities with the world!




We must be the change we want to see in the world. We can see and feel it and help each other to create it.


Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. When we change ourselves, when we bring more of our authentic, worthy, self-confident selves to the table, we can move mountains and support others to do the same. We are all interconnected.


The key is to start with our inner landscape and make positive changes there. This can feel challenging, and that’s okay. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.


We have been warriors for a long time. It takes courage to be true to ourselves and advocates for change. It takes courage to let go of what hasn’t been working and keep stepping forward.


We don’t have a shortage of courage. We just need the right tools and support to be and do our best, and that includes letting go of the need to be perfect or living our lives based upon the opinions and expectations of others.


When we know what we are moving towards and keep stepping, that’s when the magic happens!


Here’s two simple, life-changing tools that you can apply today, to change how you feel, full stop, as you do what needs to be done.

Key #1: Breath Work to Let Go

What happens when you feel stressed? When you just remember a deadline due tomorrow? When the school calls because your child is sick and it’s the worst possible time?


Here’s what happens: Fight or flight breathing – short shallow breaths.   Which results in ??? . . . feeling anxious and overwhelmed.


Breath Work can turn this around, can signal to our body to relax, release, soften and let go.  Simply breathe in through the nose and out through the nose, allowing the outbreath to be longer than the inbreath. 


We need to breathe to stay alive, so we can practice this calming breathing technique where ever we are.

Key #2: Eat That Frog

Thanks Brian Tracy. He wrote the book by this title, and it changed my life.


Eat That Frog is simple and easy to apply. Are you ready to stop procrastinating (e.g. ughh, I wish that would go away) and do what needs to be done with calm assurance, grace, ease and flow.


Sound too good to be true? It’s not. It’s just practical, common sense.


What does Eat That Frog mean? It means that you 'eat' the biggest, ugliest, slimiest frog in your in-tray at the beginning of each day. You don’t set it aside until later. You handle it first.


If there’s a phone call you need to make that you wish was already over, make that call before you do anything else.


If you need to prepare for it, do it. If you need to consider how to best handle the conversation, make a few notes. Then take a few deep breaths and make the call.


And, if necessary and prudent, follow up with written confirmation as to the content and agreed up action(s) or what next discussed in the call.


If there’s a report you need to prepare or a document you need to write, breath, get yourself in a calm, centered space, do the research, write down some notes or an outline, ask for inspiration, and just do it!


Then what? Pat yourself on the back and acknowledge yourself. You’ve just eaten the biggest, ugliest, slimiest frog. You didn’t procrastinate or wait until the last minute. Congratulations!


Now, tell yourself that anything else you do today is icing on the cake. It will be nice to accomplish, but it’s not necessary. You did what absolutely had to be done.


With this attitude, and the relief you feel because that frog is not hanging over your head, and conscious connected breathing is there to help you when you need it, life can start to feel remarkably different.

It's like resetting your internal clock to inner calm.


And, that helps you to feel more confident and capable because you are connecting with a more relaxed and calm state of being.

AND, it’s inside of you, so you are not looking for anyone or anything else to make it better . . . that’s empowering . . . and, from this relaxed and calm place, you are not trying to get anywhere, you are enjoying the process, the present moment of your life.

It’s like one ripple in the pond is breathing to clear yourself of negativity and relax and the second ripple is stepping towards what you previously would avoid or put off, and handling it in a creative, user-friendly way.

These ripples are cumulative.

The more you practice breath work and 'Eat that Frog', the more they become a part of who you are, the more you turn the tide toward what you would like to experience, the more you appreciate and enjoy your life.

How do you feel about marketing, walking into an event where you barely know anyone, calling someone you barely know?



Marketing makes a lot of people anxious and physically tense.  And what's really strange is that many of us tend to have the skills of connecting with people on a personal level, listening to their concerns, talking about their day, asking to see photos of their personal life, travels, experiences.



So remember, connecting with people is one of your strengths.  And remember, you can use this strength, build rapport, get and keep clients and close deals during the times that suit you.



Marketing does not have to interfere with your family, friends or personal time. You can be successful without engaging in activities that have been essential to rainmaking for others, like golf, sports and drinks after work.  You can create a marketing plan that works with who you are.



With all of this in mind, here are 6 tips for attracting clients.



No 1: Target the Top 20 in a New Way

Don’t focus on everyone or just anybody. 




  • Who are my top 5 prospects -- the people that would love to work with me now or sometime in the future? 
  • Who are my top 5 connectors – the people who can refer prospects to me?


There are lots of people in our circle of connections who are happy to help us and we to help them, they just need to know who our ideal client is.  So, tell your friends and colleagues about your target market and let them share theirs with you. Make notes, so you will remember. 



Cultivate business friends and networks that work for you.  Be intentional and selective.



And, give what you would like to receive -- no strings attached. That’s the clearest, brightest, way to create what you want in life. 



If you want to get leads, be generous in giving them. Be generous in helping others succeed with no expectation of getting anything back in return. That’s part of the heart-felt law of attraction: give what you would love to receive; teach what you most need to learn. 



Generosity and kindness go a long way in creating prosperity and abundance.



Consider where you most feel to invest your time and energy:  organizations? like-minded people? groups in your trade, business or industry? Neighborhood or community associations or gatherings? Go with your intuition or gut instinct; follow your heart.



Find some quiet time to slow down and listen. Meditate. Breathe. Ask for guidance: Where to from here? Where can I best focus my energies for the highest good of all concerned?  Listen.  The inspiration you receive will not be loud and booming like the conversations in your mind.  Inspiration comes as a whisper, a feeling or knowing.



Relax and be open to guidance, and be patient; guidance may come when least expected -nwhile you are watching a movie, from a random comment by a friend, from a passage in a book , while taking a shower, in a dream.  The universe will respond to you.  It's up to you to be aware and discerning; there's a lot of negativity out there; just  be open to inspiration.



Once you are clear, your mind may come up with lots of reasons why not.  Don't listen.  That's counter intention or your own ego trying to keep you small.    Be like the stern yet loving parent with an unruly child. Just say no, let go of all of the reasons why not; drop all doubts, and love the child, that part of you that's afraid and feels abandoned and alone.   



No 2: Open Doors with Authenticity

You probably don't like it when someone calls you just to sell you something, even if you've done business with them before. So, don't do it to anybody else.



If you don’t have a good reason to contact someone,don't; that's the Golden Rule!



Good reasons are

  • Invitations
  • Introductions
  • Information 
  • Intimacy (e.g. kindness and compassion)


You might send an invite to attend a social, political or educational event as your guest.  The purpose could be to introduce your potential client to someone who can help their career.  You could send her information about a product or service that could help him/her (not yours!).  You could tell them about a class or seminar that feels timely.  You could send them a breaking news story or information about a piece of legislation or a new law that affects them.  You could contact them because something major just happened in their life - a death, birth or surgery; a trip or something fun and exciting. Or it may be something light and fun, like you are both following a television series and you text something about the latest episode.



If it feels contrived, it probably is. Connect authentically from the heart. People can feel the difference and will respond accordingly.



No 3: Use Memorable Messaging

“If you want me to speak for two minutes, it will take me three weeks of preparation. If you want me to speak for thirty minutes, it will take me a week to prepare. If you want me to speak for an hour, I am ready now.” – Winston Churchill



While watching your child’s soccer game, dance rehersal etc., other parents probably won't want to hire you. But, they may ask you what you do.  Don't say, "I'm a partner at Wells & Marshall." "I am a relationship coach."  Present yourself in an interesting way:

  • I’m the co-founder of the first non-toxic sexual wellness products brand in the U.S. My passion is to use business as a way to solve the sexual health and reproductive rights issues facing women today.  
  • I enjoy finding simple solutions to complex scientific problems. Founder & CEO at uBeam, which converts ultrasound waves into electricity to power devices. It’s like WiFi for energy.
  • I play with photos and words all day and turn them into extraordinary stories for Young Life on social media. I’m a dreamer, thinker, writer and adventurer at hear.
  • I am a video storyteller, community builder, and global adventurer. I skip the small talk and delve into the lives of strangers. I am the founder of Big Talk.
  • I create tax free income for people born before 1961 using the little-known exclusion clause in the IRS Code 1.72(c).
  • I help employers avoid and resolve employee issues.

People don’t care about your job title. They care about how you can help them (or someone that they know) solve a problem that is meaningful to them. 

Be ready to share your passion in a short, conversational-friendly format. Feel comfortable within yourself, so you can say it with a smile.

Again, this is not about being contrived and clever. It’s about being authentically you. 

No 4: Be a Great Listener

People like to talk about themselves. 

Ask open-ended questions; be interested in learning about them, what they are passionate about, love to do, what they're most proud of, interesting trips they've been on.

You may have googled them and want to show off everything that you know. Stop! It’s not about you.

When you try to make yourself look good, you usually come off as being self-centered and small.

Use your research to ask the kinds of questions that will engender respect.  People like to be asked intelligent questions that show you know about what they do, who they are and what they've accomplished.

People can feel when you are being manipulative and when you are really interested in them.

Genuine Listening is an art.

No 5: Time-Boxed Follow up

When you have a great conversation with someone,how often do you say, “Let’s do this again soon!” and never follow up?

And you know how it feels when someone does this to you. it's not impressive.

Try time-boxed follow up instead: “I’ll call you next Friday to set up lunch.” “When I get back to the office, I’ll send you a copy of that article I mentioned.”

Then do it; be true to your word. 

Deliver value. Ask yourself, “What do they need? How can I help?”

Give something that relates to what they shared about themselves and their life, something of value.  Give for the joy of giving.

When you focus on being of service, when you show that you care, you seamlessly build rapport and that's priceless.

No 6: Be Prepared & Relaxed

Always be prepared. Don’t rely on the fact that you’ve done something ‘a million times before’. Every client and potential client is different. Every person and situation is unique. Take nothing for granted. Assume nothing. Being prepared tells your client or prospect that you respect their time.

As you prepare, consider

  • What would I love to accomplish?
  • What would genuinely convey interest and value? 
  • How can I deepen our relationship?
  • What potential steps can I share to meet their needs?

And remember, even though you are prepared there are no guarantees.  Breathe and embrace uncertainty.  If you are balanced and centered, if you are willing to listen and ready to serve, that’s a big part of success.  You don’t have to have all of the answers. You can research the best response to their question and get back to them later.

Know your worth. Know the value of your products and services. Let go of any attachment to a specific outcome. Show up as yourself and be real, and always maintain hope beyond the moment.

I am probably not telling you anything that you don't know, everyone experiences a lot of stress.


The first thing you can do to reduce your stress is acknowledge it.  "I feel really stressed." "I feel anxious and overwhelmed."  Sounds simple, but what I've found is that there's a tendencyto minimize all that we actually do.  So acknowledge how you are feeling and stop judging yourself or anyone else in the picture. Judgment keeps you going around in circles, spiraling into more stress and feeling stuck.


The second thing you need to do is take a look at how you are taking care of yourself. If you are running on empty, you will crash.  What do you need in term of TLC? exercise? massage? lunch or dinner date? an evening alone?  Whatever you need schedule self-care time every week, every day if possible.


Now let’s look at 5 keys to reducing your stress and experiencing more contentment.


Nothing is going to change by simply reading and understanding the material; you’ve probably heard it before.It's up to you to take action on the ground; to make a real commitment to yourself; to create a new way of being and experiencing life one small step at a time!


Remember:  Every small step you take forward is a victory beyond measure, to be acknowledged and celebrated.  Even you pick one key and take one small step with it, good on you!

Key #1: Take Breaks

When you feel stressed, when you have a lot to do, do not keep going; do not push through. Before you go into overwhelm, stop, breathe and break the cycle.  Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose with the outbreath longer than the inbreath.  Take time for you.


Take a walk around the block. Go outside and sit on a park bench. Read a book. Listen to some music. Talk to a friend. Sip some tea. Breathe deeply. Smell the flowers. Notice the beauty around you. When you are relaxed and refreshed, you are more likely to get your best work done, faster and better.


Key #2: Get Enough Sleep

Listen to your body and get enough sleep. Take a nap, if necessary. Yoga and mindfulness activities can reduce your need for sleep; just listen to what your body is telling you. If you continue to override it, if you choose not to listen; chances are you will get sick or your body with revolt.  Being kind to yourself is not selfish; it’s essential to giving back and doing your best.



Key #3: Make Time for a Hobby

Painting, sculpting, swimming, hiking, joining in a book club or group that interests you, taking a class, learning to do something new, picking up and getting reacquainted with the guitar, piano or violin.  Ask yourself, what would be fun? Interesting? Challenging? What would expand my horizons and help get me out of a rut?


A hobby can bring so many things into your life; pick something that lights you up and makes your heart sing, that gets your creative juices flowing.  You can do it alone or with family and friends. It’s up to you.  Give yourself permission to nurture a part of your that’s been neglected or ignored.



Key #4: Leave Your Work at the Office

Set reasonable, clear and appropriate boundaries; the time when you no longer answer emails, respond to texts, answer or return phone calls.  Establish a policy and share it with those people who need to know.  Whatever feels urgent can usually wait till the morning; life will go on without you jumping.


This gives you the space to take care of the whole you: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  If you are not happy how work is infringing on your personal time, then do something about it. You are worth it, and you’ll be a lot nicer to be around; the people who care about you are sure to notice the difference.



Key #5: Make Time for Health & Fitness: Physical, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual

How fit are you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?  What self-care activities are a part of your life? Meditation, prayer, yoga, walking, running, hiking, swimming, biking etc.? What about the foods you eat and the beverages you drink – healthy, not so much or toxic?



Are you attending to your emotional and spiritual needs? What lifts us up? Who inspires us?  How would it be to experience more grace, ease and flow?  How would it feel to be more compassionate?  How would your life be different?



What’s your mind filled with? A lot of useless or negative information? A lot of gratitude and love?  Are negative people impacting you and bringing you down?  What thoughts do you think? What ideas do you have that are not helping?



Notice where you are not being kind, not loving and nurturing to yourself.  What are you telling yourself?  What do you think? How would your life change if you treated yourself differently? If you rearranged your priorities?  Where are you ‘wasting your time’ on social media or other activities?



Your bodies (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) are sacred, an amazing gift. Do you understand how blessed you are?  If you are stressed, overwhelmed, worried, frustrated, anxious, do something about it.  It’s okay to start small.  Don't add stress to your stress by changing everything at once; that's usually a recipe for disaster.  Do one thing that's new.  You created your current experience, and you can create something new; it’s up to you.



Make time.  Choose to be here now, fully present and enjoy being you more deeply.

Take care of yourself. Embrace life.

You want to be profitable, to attract the right and perfect clients / customers who will benefit from and be grateful for your products and services.


You want clients / customers who feel drawn to work with and buy from you. Your products and services speak to them. There is an affinity. They resonate with what you are offering and are drawn to you. They find you because what you say and do; what you put out to the world attracts them to you.


Here’s something to ponder:   If you want to be more profitable, if you want more of the right people to find you, take a look at yourself honestly, with a focus of letting go of what’s not working.


Your biases may be getting in the way of generating and expanding your success. Everyone has biases. You may not see them in yourself. But I bet you see them in other people.  Biases that block you can run unconsciously; they are so ingrained that you don’t even notice them.


Triggers can be someone’s weight, how they dress, if they smoke, their religion, their ethnicity, the color of their skin or their sexual orientation. Other, perhaps more-subtle triggers are someone’s mannerisms, accent, makeup and shoes.


I am not saying to disregard your intuition. Always listen to your inner knowing, that still small voice that guides you when you stop and pay attention. What I am saying is to notice when you move away from someone who could be a client or customer because of their packaging on the outside.


People feel when you back away from them, when you discount or judge them. It’s palatable.


There are some great videos about bias. One is of a critically acclaimed violinist playing unnoticed in the New York subway. He is wearing common clothes and looks like a nobody.  His music is amazing and almost no one stops to listen.  People rush by him as if he does not exist, speaking volumes of how we are programmed to be.


This is about helping you not walk away from business opportunities because of your biases, making your unconscious biases conscious!  Choose to be aware, and ask yourself, 'What am I thinking when I see someone on the street? In the news? At an event? What are my first thoughts? 


Notice when you use all or never when referring to a someone, a group or organization. Notice if you put people or whole groups of people in box. Notice how it feels if someone does this to you.


Be open to new possibilities. Drop the judgment and look for similarities instead of differences: 'I wonder what we have in common?'  You might be really surprised to find people you thought you had nothing in common with have a genuine connection, simply because you engaged in a conversation and asked open questions with a genuine desire to learn.


You may notice new kinds of people streaming into your business, and how cool that would be!

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